I have written about forgiveness vs pardoning many times, because it is the very basis of all of our drama.   We may think and feel as though we have forgiven something yet, if we still feel a charge than we have not pardoned the situation fully.

I remember specifically a friend retelling the story of being abandoned by a parent.  As he spoke tears fell and I watched as his emotions switched between sadness and rage as he re-told the story that happened nearly 50 years before.

Once he was finished telling the story, I told him that I felt that I was sent to him because I knew how to help him forgive his father.   My friend snapped and violently shouted… “I already forgave the Mother F___er!!  You can forgive but you can never forget!!!”   My friend had just shifted all of the pent-up energy from the focus on his father on to ME!!   Not a fun position to be in.    However, this is what we do to each other ALL THE TIME!!!      We think we are over it, because we have allowed that person back into our hearts.    But that is just the first step to getting over the problem.    My guide, Abraham, says that true forgiveness is comprised of two things.  UNDERSTANDING why something “spiritually” took place and ACCEPTANCE of our part in it.  Once we have both of those pieces in place, then and only then does the emotional charge fall away so that true forgiveness takes place.

More often than not, we use the word forgiveness like a band-aid.   We say that we forgive, but what we are really doing is sending the offending person a life line.    Abraham says, “You should spell the word forgive with an “E – Fore-give” Because you are giving them back your love before the situation is healed!   This is why a wife will allow her husband who cheated on her to come home, but the first time he reaches for her intimately she recoils and shouts. “Don’t you dare touch me!”   Because she has given him back her love. However, she still cannot understand why he did this and she continues to tell herself that he doesn’t love her and other such non-sense.  Once she truly understands that her own unhealed issues inside of herself caused his actions so that she could create acceptance of her judgments against herself or others from the past.  She would be telling him thank you! It was truly awful and I needed to understand that I was pushing you away because I was unhealed.  I’m so sorry for my part in this, let’s not do this again!”
Unhealed issues REPEAT!  The only way around it is to heal it.  In one of my blogs I wrote.

“I ask to be pardoned by everyone who I have not pardoned.”

Go back and re-read that statement two or three times!” Did anyone in particular come to mind?  If so:

I place my soul__________ into a Full Court of Atonement with the soul of ___________(whoever came up.)  I ask to have our timelines evaluated and create understanding and acceptance between us regarding those events. 

Now let’s say it again, this time with authority like you really mean it.

“I ask to be pardoned by everyone who I have not pardoned.” 

Keep repeating it over and over while you write down anyone and everyone who comes to mind.

Place them all in the Full Court of Atonement above.

Next try this one:

I ask to pardon those who have not yet pardoned me!”

Once again repeat this and write down anyone and everyone who comes to mind.  Then place them in that simple COA written above.

After you have finished those steps try.

“I ask to pardon myself for not pardoning these people.”

Repeat that over and over until you feel lighter.

Then try:

“I ask to pardon myself for not pardoning myself.”

Amy Jo Ellis © July 1, 2018

Amy Jo is the Author of the Court of Atonement.  It is a simple spiritually based process that assists in the healing of conflicts within ourselves and our families.  Healing your Family Tree with the Court of Atonement

Court of Atonement Booklet 2 is also available.