I don’t really have any phobias, but I do have two things that can make me feel a bit frightened, unguarded railroad track Crossings and Heights. Both of these can bring on a tightening sensation in my legs and locking of my knees. I used to have a fear of the dark but I told myself to stop it. Today is I wolf around on the winding mountain roads of Mount Spokane I found my knees tightening up and feeling tension throughout my body. So I told myself to stop it! I’m safe! I’m in control of the car! I’m safe!! You know what, I had a whole lot of fun today and I didn’t feel nervous at all.
Sometimes it’s not the things we say, it’s the things we didn’t say! I didn’t tell myself stop it when I was over eating!
I didn’t recognize that I was actually forcing myself to eat more than I should, to make another person feel better about how much they had paid for dinner.
Our son had busied himself with a box of crayons and a piece of plain paper (he’s 25) and was coloring for a coloring contest. So, he wasn’t eating at all. The other young man who had come along with us (Tenor’s room mate) also was not eating. Not to worry… Amy Jo to the rescue!
The next time something like that happens, you better believe I’m going to be yelling “Stop it” at myself!
Telling yourself “don’t cry” is a really bad idea, because there’s more emphasis on the word crying then there is on don’t. That little word “don’t” doesn’t have enough power to hold up against the wave of emotion that was coming toward it with the word cry!
When we’re looking to change things in our circumstances, for instance in our finances, then trying to say things like, “don’t panic” does nothing except lead you down the road of panicking. Watch your words and see if you are leading yourself in the direction you choose to go instead of tripping yourself, stumbling on your way in the direction you don’t want to go.
Instead of thinking don’t panic you can tell yourself, ” it will be okay, I’m fine, I’m safe… I will figure this out!”. These are the kinds of things we need to say to ourselves.
Listen to your dialogue catch yourself and say stop it! Then focus on what you actually are wanting. Your emotions are a big clue to whether your words are working for you or against you. If you are feeling nervous… What are you saying that is causing this anxiety? Yell “Stop it” at yourself and change directions!
Today myself talk tried to talk me out hooking up our boat to the truck. My husband always takes care of this, and I don’t usually have to do it. Once I talk to myself into recognizing that I was powerful and capable enough of hooking up a boat trailer to A Truck and went out to do the job, the neighbor’s son volunteered to give me a hand with it. That’s where I was when I recorded this video. Yet instead of pulling away and having to drive the truck, my husband called to say he was taking the company van all the way home. So I just got my stuff ready and he had to drive the truck and trailer, and drop it off at the boat repair shop. And I didn’t have to do a thing. The problem was entirely solved, and we are headed to kiss little Oliver on the cheek and be on time for our babysitting job!
So if you hear yourself Talking yourself out of doing something you don’t really want to do but needs to get done. Stop it! Talk yourself into it make room for the miracle!
Yesterday’s lesson really helped me move forward. I told myself to just break it down into small chunks and do the most important thing first. I’ve known this lesson for a very long time, but there are so many steps involved in putting these videos on that I had lost track of practising what I preach.
If you have something you are putting off because it feels too hard, Just do the very first thing and give yourself permission to feel like you’re done. Allow yourself to walk away and go do something else.
Then tell yourself all I need to do is the first thing that I can do now. Which of course would be the next thing but we’re going to lie to our subconscious mind and give ourselves the sensation that there is only really one thing that needs to be done, so that your brain allows your body to feel comfortable with the amount of work that it’s facing.
Pick one area in your house that you’ve been putting off cleaning. Maybe it’s the refrigerator, maybe it’s the freezer, could it be under the kitchen sink? Is there any area that you put off because you don’t like to do it? Get yourself to take action on those areas doing only five little things.
Throw away 5 things out of the refrigerator and allow yourself to stop. Or move five things under the kitchen sink and put them in a neater order. Just do five little things. You’ll be surprised how quickly they get done if you tell yourself you’re going to just do 5 every day for a week. Once that week is over tell yourself I’m just going to do 10 every day.
I was noticing that I was making an internal list about the things I needed to do, and I was allowing that list to overwhelm me! I finally figured out I needed to say stop it!
When we are facing a project that has multiple steps involved, it’s really easy to allow your system to start to feel overwhelmed. Which is nothing more than the alarm ringing saying I’m not safe! Panic, will start 1 of 3 responses; Fight, flight or freeze.
In wildlife, when a predator is near, the animal senses Danger and those responses are triggered depending on how eminent the danger is. If the danger is far enough away the animal freezes. When we feel stress which is nothing more than feeling Danger if it’s far enough away we might feel overwhelmed and freeze. If the danger is too close that freezing might not work, but far enough away that we might make it to safety, we run and go do something else. But when the danger is too close to run from it, or hide from it, then we take action and fight it!
So here I am doing my homework at the final hour! Don’t allow your nervous system to run away with you… take a look at what you need to do and choose one thing that you can do, and do that! Tell yourself, I can do one thing right now what’s the most important thing I can do? And do that!
I have more classes available this week, hope to see you there!
So I have to confess to having been so happy with being done! Then when people begin to express their opinion that they thought that this challenge should continue for the prescribed 21 days to create a habit I heard all kinds of internal dialogue that I did not like.
I make no promises to anyone but there will be any more days than this… Unless there is!